Lost Soldier
by shadow priestess
Summary: Takes place after Endless Waltz. Heero reflects on the war and one little girl... Also has mild spoilers for Wufei's past. Keep in mind that if you don't review, you are hurting my language arts grade. (Really.) Explanation in chapter two.
1. Lost Soldier

Disclaimer- I don't own Gundam Wing. Duh.

AN- This is my first GW fic on FF. I was just watching Endless Waltz, and this idea popped into my head. I actually watched the DVD over again to make sure I got the lines right, but there might be a few inaccuracies. I haven't had anything to do with GW past that in the past year or so.  In any case, if you hate it, at least be nice about telling me…

"The war made us all killers, you know that?" The Chinese boy's voice was pained, barely tinged with anger. He stared down at the ground, focusing on the face reflected in the tiles. His black eyes betrayed nothing of the anguish he felt. They were impassive, as they had always been. As his companion's were.

"Wufei…" Heero began, unsure. Except Heero Yuy was never unsure. He was the Perfect Soldier, brought up to disregard any remnants of his humanity. And yet… He remembered the flower he had kept in his Gundam. An orange one, if he recalled correctly.  That little girl had given it to him while she was out walking her dog. That had been before she had died, before he had killed her. Her face continued to haunt him, plaguing his dreams. Wufei was right. The war _had_ made them killers, and not only of soldiers.

"I was a scholar once," Altron's pilot announced abruptly. "I even had a wife. I would tell her almost daily how stupid her ideals about honor and justice were. In the end, she died to uphold them."

Unbidden, his words to his comrade earlier resurfaced, repeating themselves in his tormented mind. 'How many more times must I kill that girl and her dog?' How many… how many…

"I never wanted to be a Gundam pilot," Wufei went on. "But when Meiran died, I did it for her, almost as repentance. Even more than that, I did it so that nobody else would have to go through what we did for peace."

Heero smiled bitterly. Wasn't that why they all fought? He fought for that one little girl, who hadn't deserved her fate. None of them had, but perhaps this way one more girl could live to walk her dog again. Maybe one more girl could live to give a lost soldier like him a flower.

"Meiran always loved flowers," the black-haired boy said thoughtfully, unaware that this was the focus of his friend's musings. "When she knew that she was going to die, she asked me to take her to the field… That had been her objective- to protect the flower field. For that she gave her life."

'Here. I'll give you this flower.' He could still see her smile. Innocent. Trusting. She hadn't known then that he would be the one to murder her. In his mind's eye, the teddy bear lying among the ruins taunted him. You killed her, it screamed. It's your fault she's dead. Your fault an innocent girl is gone.

"I never forgave myself," Wufei continued quietly. "I felt that maybe if I had been more vigilant, if Shenlong had had weapons… I don't know. It hurt to hold her while she died. At the same time, I think it helped bring closure."

Closure… The word echoed through his head. He'd buried the dog in the field. But as for the girl… He never found the body. He hadn't wanted to. Now Wufei's words made him doubt the wisdom of not at least going back to search. Maybe that would have helped him feel at peace with himself.

'Are you lost?'

'I've been lost ever since the day I was born.'

It's done!! That flashback in Endless Waltz was so cool I just had to make a fic about it. Please review, I'm not sure what to think about my work. I mean, I'm a humor type of person. Just talk to my friends. Review this, please please please.


	2. Author's note.

Hi! Shadow priestess here, with no real chapter, just a very useful question no da! PLEASE can anyone name some good competitions? Anything, mostly GW and Fushigi Yuugi, but it's a requirement at my school and I NEED NEED NEED the addresses of some good contests to enter for the assignment. (It's a monthly thing.) PLEASE I NEED HELP! Oh, and I'd still like an honest opinion on this and whether you think it's worthy of entering anywhere, or if you think my English teacher would hate it. Please? I need it! It's a major part of my grade! *huge Bambi eyes* 


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